isolatedartisan:

italyans:

nasdaq:

#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

this is it.

THIS IS FUCKING IT.

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED

THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 

BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.

NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

Tumblr users should never make infomercials

(via the-goddess-in-the-tardis)

Anonymous: Hey! Cat admirer here. Thought of a question that is really really random. So, I have this weird fear that i will one day be stuck on an airplane with a person who goes into labor and I'll have to deliver it. Unlikely, yes, but I'm only a CNA, so I don't know how to birth babies yet. I know it's a natural process, but if myself or anyone somehow gets in that situation, what are the bare basics of how to assist the person giving birth? Weird, I know, but hey, who knows who this could help? Thanks

themidwifeisin:

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dreamofbecoming:

Reasons abortion should be fully covered on all insurance plans:

  • If you can’t afford an abortion, you definitely can’t afford a pregnancy
  • If you can’t afford an abortion, and are forced to carry a pregnancy to term anyway, you sure as hell can’t afford a child

Who the fuck do you think you’re really protecting here?

(via valleyofyourfickleheart)

Everything I know I learned from the Rocky Horror Picture Show

13omnipotenthrs:

run-with-your-scissors:

1. Gay is okay. image

2. Straight is okay. image

3. Crazy is awesome. image

4. Transvestites are fine. image

5. Rock ‘n roll is fantastic. image

6. How to do the time warp. image

7.Balding men can be cool. image

8. Wheelchair-bound doesn’t make you anything less than you are. image

9.Feeling sexy is nothing to be ashamed of. image

10.Dress to express. image

11. Don’t dream it, be it. image

justrunnn

(via valleyofyourfickleheart)